family. what does it mean? sigh. sometimes i wonder. its one of your family members birthday and they made you cry. not because they scolded you, not because of anything else. but this.

mum : todays her birthday know.

dad ; really meh?

mum ; ya la. todays the 8th what.

dad ; 8 meh ? i thought 18?

me ; hah. might as well dont need birthday.

dad ; yah. dont need birthday for you better.

it freaking hurt me. you dont even freaking rmb your first childs birthday. sometimes i wonder if you really intended to forget? when the cake is out, and it was time to celebrate. brother is ready with my dslr, mum assists with brother, sister sits close with me, you were far away. you didnt want to be in the picture. no you didnt. when its time to sing the song, only mum sang it. she pauses and say ; eh sing la, why nvr sing! then you all kept quiet. i almost broke down. after blowing out the candles, brother came over to me to show me the pictures he took. to my suprise, no picture were taken at all. he didnt take any. he only postioned himself. i broke down. 

mum : eh how come no picture?

me : shrugs * 

mum : come la, come take again! come come!

me : aiya nevermind la. not important also.

mum : aiya must take la must take.

thank you mum, for trying to make me at least happier. but i dont feel any better. i really got to thank you for at least trying. as i am crying typing this post, i hope tomorrow will be a better day. i hope i can forget about what happened just now, and move on. 

thank you, but nothing can make me happy now. nothing.

my birthday = sad day.

save us,

Save me.