weird at times

i am a very happy girl today.

not.

more like moody.
well exactly moody. but just feelin like somethings missing.
ive been feeling this way ever since.. i dont know when i started to feel this way.
and and the weird thing is, i dont know what ive been missing.
or what is making me feel this way.
maybe its something or maybe someone.
or maybe just god playing with my feelings.
this i seriously gotta sit back and think.
sometimes i switch on the tv. and then realised im not actually watching the tv. i was day dreamin. its like my body is there but my soul isnt. i wonder where it went.

this day dreaming thing is happening quite frequently. maybe because of the dreamy weather these few days. but i doubt so. my mind is blank everytime i finished day dreaming. i sit in class and day dream. ive been having weird dreams lately. like last night i dreamt myself eating a huge chunk of chocolate bars nonstop. then someone pointed and laughed. i woke up and ran to the mirror. you will never imagine how big i look in my dream.

yeah okay that is a ridiculous one indeed. but you cant blame me. dreams happen. and i believe dreams are the opposite of reality. so if youre thinking of getting married. yeap youre going not going to. or when worse comes to worst, you die. kidding. im just filling up space. so its been a while since ive blogged. the weather these days seems to make me feel sleepy not to mention lethargic. schools been shitty right from the start. with mr sidek naggings and many more upcoming test. and oh did i mention the sec 4's have to come back to school while the other levels go for their camps. then everyday will be test day starting from there. im just not ready yet. im sure i wont be able to keep up with it any longer. okay maybe i will, but i need to get things done slowly. afterall my brains have been in slow mode since last week. no dont ask me why cos i dont know either.

todays geo test was shit. i managed to score 31/40 over the last class test he gave us. like yay hooray. todays geo test was exactly the same as the previous one. and guess what i dont remember a single thing about it. i couldnt absorb as much as i used to. n levels is near and im still not bucking up. i need something to wake me up frm dreaming. something to make me stop dreaming and start walking on my own two feet. wake me up and open my eyes to see things around me clearly. so clear that i might actually be able to think and not slack around anymore. ahhh life is weird at times.

lets see how much assignments i have today. maths. english. art. science. mt. geo.
fuck i just remembered i have a geo test tomorrow again.

i think i shall stop here for now. gotta get this brain working. alright bye.