183.

hey young world, 

it's 5.36 am on a friday morning.

am not feeling normal.

well lets just say things are falling right through

moodswings are here to ruin my days

negative thoughts are here to stay 

problems one after another

one minute im alright, another minute im upset. and then the other i'd be so mad with everybody.

sorry to those ive shown my attitude to,

esp boyfriend who was always there for me but i kept upsetting him because of my moodswings

sorry love, for going thru this every time of the month

i can't help it either

i don't even know what im saying when im upset/mad

the words just flows right out of my mouth

sigh. if only i could just control my moodswings

then boyfriend wouldnt be so upset

it's a day to our 4th month together 

shall make up a suprise for him that no one has ever done 

am blogging right now because i feel just alright

but when i switch off this macbook of mine 

i'd feel upset back again

see told yah i couldn't control it

i knw myself well enough to know what will happen next

...

this weeks been hectic 

sometimes i just need to be by myself 

to breathe and such 

but then breathing doesnt help cos my heart is still sinking lower by the minute 

its not that i didnt wanted to but it just happens 

theres prelims next week.

to plan for the boys suprise.

moodswinging days.

and many more,

theres so much to think about now

what i need right now, is a tight hug to calm me down 

like how boyfriend does it when i get so mad 

love you so much b 

am really sorry if i have been hurting you 

its just that im emotionally unstable now

i always let my feelings get the hold of me, but not the other way round'

hope he reads this and feels better

and then forgives me :/

it's 5.40 am and still feeling a little bit moodless

maybe because of exhaustion

theres still social studies class this afternoon 

knock me out and let me go back to sleep 

sigh im feeling so very guilty..

goodbye.