18th.

of all days why must today screw up

it's the 18th for god damns sake

please just let me off for a day

if you are thinking what is holding me back and making me feel this way

its the stress ive been feeling ever since i started finishing my art coursework

everything after that keeps falling on the wrong time

like on wednesday, i sprained my knee during p.e and i was having a celebration in school for national day

the previous week, some girl just aimed my forehead to hit the damn goal

and then i got some BCG injection and it had to be on a monday

then 5 pieces of A3 of art have to be done by the 20th and we are only given on damned week to finish it

then now we had to fight,

on this very freaking special day of ours

yeah i am still quite mad about it

him : b, asl?

me : smlm kate nak balik with me because today is our day, then you suddenly wanna go bio. you wanna go, you go la

him : no b i thought today you still have detention. i baru dpt tau just now yang you takde, yang bile you bilang me.

me : ( kept quiet )

me : then why didn't you bother to ask?

him : erm.. tak tau? cos i pandai sangat

me : ( ignores )

reasons reasons reasons

never stop hearing em every single time

i hate it when people tell me something they will do it, but end up changing their plans on me at the last minute

it is already hurtful if you were to do that

but how do you think it feels when its on your monthversary

wouldn't it be more hurtful

well no i am not controlling him, but hey it's our day

sigh why can't you just feel how i would feel,

if i were to do exactly the same thing to you

don't say something you can't do.

and todays the very first time i cried on my monthversary

because if i were to ignore and act all okay

i am DEAD SURE he would do it again

fucking hate this shit

but anyway,

he managed to cheer me up in the end.

but am still in no mood.

am very tired

and im sitting for 3 papers tomorrow

like so fucking stupid dunno how to make the papers in different day

bio, phy and geo tomorrow

fuck uh

and bf cant text me cos his phone is well

as good as dead

fuck it uh!

see what i mean by everything falls on the wrong time?

oh and, happy 5th love.