August 27, 2009

can you let me describe about my day today please,
because i'd love to type about everything that is making me feel so
not myself today

moodswings + unlucky things that happened + emotions + thoughts = today.

and so let me start on my post.
first of all, i got my fucking maths paper back
and i got to know i scored a 38 over a sixty for paper 1 and i was fucking disappointed with myself,
i actually cried after looking at the paper for 5 seconds

the teacher passed me the paper back and i saw my marks
i threw my paper on the table
and got so fucking upset i just laid down and cried
now i know how it really feels when you spent the whole day just studying on one particular subject
and you had so much hope on that paper
and then the next thing you found out you failed

whats worse, i was already having my moodswings then
and if i am sad, i would be much more upset then i usually am
and so i was hoping that i would be able to pass my second paper,
over sixty marks and i got a 29
again i failed.

i already felt hopeless after i got the first paper
what more the second one
sigh...

a little bit okay to see myself get a1 for my bio paper
76/100 which mean a 38/50
and i passed physics prelims for the very first fucking time
was a little bit contented with my bio marks
but i know i can do much better for my phy

humanities?
fuck luh dont even bother to talk about it uh
fuckin sick and tired sia having to read the SBQ questions and all
what level one level two shit
i tried my bet already sia
giving all the purpose and support la
maybe the problem i can't score for this damned subject lies in me
maybe i just cannot get what the hell purpose means, what the hell the provenance means
i am fucking tired of getting below 20 marks for the damned subject uh
it is definitely going to pull me down in my n's uh.

what am i going to do now?
memorise how she asnwers the question
bingit sia asik dpt same marks
13 je all the way
sumpah kalau aku nmpk paper socialstudies aku koyak kan skg jugak uh

tak ah tak fierce
cume bingit tau tak bingit giler nak mampos uh!!!
-.-' to the Xtreme!!!!

not only that uh, still got geo paper
nb must memorise everything
penat sia please uh
well lets look at the bright side
wait no, there isn't any bright side to it!
how fantastic how marvellous
right on uh! -.-

then right,
i ordered acid washed pants like a month ago from a spree uh
and i ordered it from this girl, nani deska
chibai to the maxxxx uh, you tell me max. time of waiting islike 2-3 weeks
then when i ask, you said i will email you as soon as the stocks arrive. emailing me wont make your stocks come faster.
hoi, your the one doing the wrong thing you know. i waited for like more than a month already then you dare to scold me some more. which buyer wont be scared sia of being cheated -.-'
thats it. i am NEVER going to buy from a spree again. so fucking ridiculous uh can or not this people?
i emailed her and she didn't reply back. her blogshop enquiries tags are all,
" why isnt my stuff here yet? its been 3 weeks! " " why havent i receive mine yet? " " when will i get my dress i ordered, it's more than a month waiting for it! "

if i find out she cheat uh
i'll find her till i get her
even though its still 13 bucks
fuck it uh, i just dont want " i got cheated before " in my life.

fuckin stressed out sia.
then now i have to get started with another set of papers for art.
URGH
the thought of it just makes me crazy uh!
sickening sia doing this over and over again
esp having alot of things in your head you need to think about

then i wanted to make myself feel better
go online and buy some more clothes for myself.
i wanted to buy one tee from panic wonderland
it's on sale and i thought of buying it
i told my mom about it
then she said " disgusting "

ah there ya go. my mood fucking spoilt for shopping already.
mcm nak tutop mate lupekn dunia skejap.
( i feel like closing my eyes and forget about the world )

seriously sia. every single thing right now is fucking irritating me to the core.
i am irritated with everything that happens in sch. with everybody in sch.
even someone walking in my way i'd just give out a loud tsk and push myself to the front
yeah this is how irritated i am

people say excuse me already then act stupid like nvr hear anything like that
pekak ke pekak sia ni org
irritating to the core..

yah i am fucking annoyed now luh.
cb la cb can or not!

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