6

It's 5.51 p.m on a Tuesday afternoon,

and time flew so fast today...

i feel like i've just skipped school again.

this morning i woke up thinking it was a school holiday..

because when i took the bus nobody wearing school uniform was in it.

i got scared then i texted jaja when i walked to sch

and she didn't reply..

then as i walked to the traffic light i thought " hey isn't that... "

yeah it was her. standing and waiting for me outside jamiyah's home.

:)

school as per usual today..

had assembly in class, then p.e..

oh and before i forgot.. i checked my weight during p.e and!!!!

i am 52.2 kg

omg, i lost 1.8 kg :)

that made me feel quite... happy :)

i didn't skip my meals or anything i ate alot like seriously alot i don't know why i still lost weight can you tell me why i lost weight because i don't really know? well whatever it is, thank god for it. i have to get thinner for the prom :)

had a heart to heart talk with mdm aishah during english class.

" bu yao ziang le, wo yao ku le ); "

only the girls know what im talking about..

didn't have bio lessons today because ms grace didn't come to sch or smeth i don't know

will be straightening my hair tomorrow, can't wait to have my straight hair back

wonder how it looks on me i have had curls for 9 months already and i got used with curls :/

i'm afraid, so so afraid that time is not going to be by my side. when i look at you i feel like holding you in my arms and never letting you go at all. everywhere i go, everything i do reminds me of you. i was so stupid to break that precious heart of yours.. now i'm wondering why, why i did not realise when i still got you. why i betrayed your trust when you had so much hope and trust on me. why i did not try to understand you when i had the chance to. why am i realising it now? after you left. people say you won't know what you got until you lost it. i never thought i'd be in this position, because all my life i told myself not to get into such a situation.

you told me to move on and find someone better.. i don't want to, i don't want to find smeone better. because your the person i want to be with. your the person i know is the best. it's hard to face you because i have hurt you so badly. i don't have the courage to talk to you because i feel like i'm not worth it. because i'm.. just afraid. if only you knew how much i regret what i did and how much i really want to show you that i'm not the girl you used to know..

i know i hurt your feelings by cursing everything you like to do. i don't want to be the girl who says thinks without thinking anymore, i don't want to be the girl who lets her feelings get the hold of her anymore. sometimes i follow my heart too much, i don't think before i say. why am i so stupid to just shoot my words and hurt you even more. if only you would come back, i'd think before i say anything, i'd never let my feelings get the hold of me, i'd never control you in anyway, not be angry when you talk to any other girl, not be angry when you play sports, instead i'd support you and let you play them sincerely. instead of saying you and your guitar is always together, i'd support you and let you play sincerely.

i know i am the worst gf you've got. i've failed to make you smile and happy with me. this is why i can't face you. i am trying but i guess i tried too hard. too hard until i lost you. if only you knew how much i regret and how much i want you back. it's never the same without you in my life. because it's you or nothing at all. sigh

today is day 6th.