sometimes i feel like something's bad is going to happen.
sometimes i feel like something's good is going to happen.
and sometimes i just feel like it is just going to be another boring day that nothing exciting happens.
at 5 i went to sleep again because.. no i wasn't tired. just thought i needed some shut eye. with the weather on my side today, it is making the job so much easier.
then i woke up an hour or two later feeling... different. different in such a way that is determined to do something. determined to change someone's view of life, or maybe, the word love itself. i don't know why i felt this way either. i feel so full of hope that i am able to change your view of what life is, because i know you've not been living the best out of the best in life.
somehow, i just feel like i can do something to change that. and i know i can, i know i will.
things happen for a reason. things just don't happen like that. it's always the past people that makes us the stronger person we are today. mistakes were made, and we learn from them. and when it's too late, it's too late. it's not a matter of how you get it back, it's a matter of how you can take it. though i can say it's not easy. nobody ever said it was easy. but you have to try. you tried, you fail, you tried and then you fail. then what are you going to do next? give up on everything else and leave it all to fate?
sure, i know how it feels being in that state. when that someone kicks you when you are already in your weakest point. you'll bleed, no doubt about that. and it takes a long time for you to let go, and forget. but darling, you know that you will never be able to forget the past if you never learn to forgive that someone. you'll hold grudges, you'll hold this hatred feeling that is inside of you, and you'll hold it with you and bring it to the future. everybody makes mistakes, because they constantly change. because they change feelings once in a while. and it was her mistake for hurting you so bad once before.
you don't know the meaning of love, you don't want to try it out all over again because you are afraid of what is going to happen, and you just can't trust anybody. you don't know what is going to happen if you try once more. you are just.. so afraid something similar will happen. but you should know too that everybody's just not the same. you can tell if someone's really is being honest with you or just playing with you around. even if you can't tell right now, you will in time to come. time is right there by your side, time will heal all wounds.
but only if you already forgave the person, and tell yourself to let it all go. because maybe the relationship ended for a good cause, because the separation of both parties has a lesson to learn, because maybe the separation of both parties will make you a stronger and a much better person in the future. maybe it ended because there is so much more in store for you. maybe it ended because you deserve so much more. true love doesn't have any happy endings, because it wasn't supposed to end in the first place.
i want to change your view of life, of love, of everything else you see in this world. i want you to look at things positively, i want you to stop hurting yourself and just let the past go. even if its slower than you thought it was would, it's okay, i'm here to make the pain all go away. i want you to not give up over the slightest obstacle, i want you to not worry about what will happen. because it was never the matter of whether that something happens is good or bad, it is a matter of how you take it. you have to think about the pros and cons of every situations, make the decision, and make the best out of it. and when you do so, never look back. never ever look back because there is sure to be something that holds and pulls you back. i want you to live your life, without thinking what is going to happen next. i want you to live your life, without worrying what will happen one day. i want you to love once more, like you never did before. i want you to pretend that your past never exists, just for one day. just forget about it all for one day and open your heart once more.
although i might not know what exactly happened, but i guess that's life. sometimes you sit down and wonder what on earth life means. sometimes you sit down and ask so many questions but get no answers. sometimes you feel so lost you don't know what to do anymore. stop questioning yourself, stop waiting. search for the answers, live your life. because if you spent the rest of your life waiting and asking questions, you will never get the answers that you want. i want to see you happy. i want to see a genuine smile on your face, i want you to feel what real happiness is about, i want you to wake up every morning having something to look forward too. i want you to wake up every morning with so much hope. i want you to wake up every morning not thinking what else is in store. and the last of all, i want you to feel what love is really like.
because it hurts to see you still trapped. because it hurts to see you unable to let go of what has happened. because it hurts to know that all this while you are smiling and laughing, are not from the heart. because it hurts to know that you're ignoring the feeling when you know you are only hurting yourself even deeper.
like i've said, you can never forget about someone or something when you don't forgive them. it's all about choices. it's your choice, to whether or not you want to forgive your past or not. because if you don't, i am certain, dead certain that the grudge and hatred you feel inside will never go away. it'll be brought to the future, and then your future will be exactly the same as your pasts. your future has to forget about the past.
it is definitely going to hard forgiving someone, because you'll tend to fall and getting yourself hurt. but it's okay, i am here once again, to pull you up from where you were. i am here to put a smile on your face. i am here to ease the pain, i am here to show the true meaning of everything. i am here to make you live your life again, i am here to make you smile sincerely, from the bottom of your heart. i am here to give you hope, i am here to make it all okay. and if you don't believe me, just listen to my heartbeat, listen to how loud each heartbeats sounds, listen to how this heart is beating ever so slowly when i'm with you. it's like my heart stops, getting even more difficult to breathe in the air around me.
just take my hand, hold it tight because it is going to be one hell of a journey. regardless of ups and downs, you know i will go through thick and thin with you.
all of this can happen darling, if you just trust me.
if you choose, to whether or not to forgive and let go of every hatred feeling you have on the inside, and open your heart once more for love. it's your choice whether to trust and give it another shot at it, it's your choice whether to let it go and start anew, or just think and live in the shadows of your past. don't you see, everything, is up to you.
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