queer

things never seem to get any... weirder. you know i feel so weird at times i don't even know what i'm doing. sometimes i feel so weird, i don't know what i'm saying.

such as... right now.

what the hell is up with me?

i'd so very much want to slap myself back to reality and get him out of my head fast.

i feel like throwing my phone away. i feel like changing my number, i feel like changing everything. namely from a to z.

dear god, can you tell me what is wrong?

give me the strength to move on. please.

...

today in school, we had this skratch team to come over to our school today to show us a little bit about RnB, Hiphop.. yeah you get it.

i wasn't really getting the whole idea because there was a guitar and i thought " Weren't you supposed to rap or something? " Then this guy came up and did his cover of RnB songs, with his guitar.

Acoustic guitar.

The moment i saw him held his guitar i was already saying

" God this is going to be awesome. "

We girls went " Aww... " " OMG! SO HANDSOME SIA! " " oh my god... " " aduhai.. "

yeah gotta admit i said the aduhai part because... i like guys who plays acoustic guitars, who plays and sings with so much soul. Makes me feel... speechless. In a good way, of course :)

And i just can't believe i ate yoghurt. And actually like liked it.

Oh and did i mention i got the question paper for N level art paper 2 already ohmygod i am starting to feel the stress already everywhere now it starts from my brain and then it stays until the dateline which is like 3 weeks from now and i have so many subjects to cope up with what are you thinking uh you people are crazy!

Sickening and ever so... problematic.

I hate school so much right now i just want to leave the school so badly and i am wishing that time will fly faster than ever but at the same time i don't want to because i'm not ready to leave what i have right now babygirls and school friends and the memories.

but i guess when it's time, it is really time.

when i guess things are meant to be this way, you just gotta force yourself to accept the fact and get used to it.

well duhhh i can't possibly repeat sec 4 right

that would be the most bullshit answer on earth

i'm getting wrried about me not being able to study this few days,

have been very distracted lately..

fuck it. seriously fuck it.

put it aside put it out the door and start concentrating on you n's stupid

nobodys going to wait for you

look i'm talking to myself again..

haha that was to remind myself...

whatever i havent had my sleep the whole day and

i'd very much like to drink my apple juice now.

have been drinking it every night.

must be addicted to it.

goodnight.

/edited @ 9.06 pm

Dad is forever watching his CSI shows on Star World and Ch 5. Star world has crime night and it shows CSI's shows for 4 times straight. If it's not CSI, it'd be numbers, if it isn't numbers it would be you guessed it, any detective-police-who-solves-every-case-and-talks-a-pararaph-just-to-say " I think i know who did it. " To makes matters worst he increased the darn volume of the tv until it is so freaking loud that is annoys the fuck out of me. URGH.

s i c k e n i n g.

it's okay steph, let it go.

Breathe in and out now..

Didn't work.

I have to get my sleep right now before i get anymore cranky.

Goodnight.